Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
