no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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