I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
