I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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