walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
