i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
