3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
