Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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