i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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