Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
