i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just google imaged poop.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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