i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
