using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
