Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
