Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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