She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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