The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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