i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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