did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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