Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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