Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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