i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
