I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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