well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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