he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
