Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
