Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
