Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
