Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
