Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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