since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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