I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
