well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
