what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
How does it feel to date your dad?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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