yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
