I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
