woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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