Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
