your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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