dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
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