If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
