Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
