Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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