Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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