I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
