it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
