what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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