none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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