I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
