god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
