When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
